That Perfect Girl is Gone
by NicPie
Summary: (Elsa centric) The people of Arendelle were overjoyed with the crowning of their new ruler, excited to finally lay eyes on the mysterious Princess–now Queen–Elsa. But they didn't know the secret that hid behind the beauty of the snow white complexion and icy blue eyes of their new queen. Then one mistake changes everything.
1. Now They Know

**Hi, everyone. So.. this is my first fic in a loooong time. I used to write some Alias fanfic and always really enjoyed it… Saw Frozen and the itch came back. I just really love Elsa's character and I thought it would be fun to see what it could have been like to get her side of things. I didn't want to change anything really, tried to keep the flow the same and use what was given from the movie and screenplay to help elaborate some. I hope you guys like it.. and if not, remember I haven't done this in a while. ;) Comments are welcome and appreciated. Thanks!**

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"The party is over. Close the gates." Elsa announced to the Royal Handler as she made her way for the ballroom doors. A familiar coolness stirred within her, threatening to release what she'd fought all day to control. But she had to hide it, she had no choice.

_Conceal._

But she was tired, so very tired, mentally and physically. The day's activities were all so new and overwhelming to her and any trace of emotion that had risen up inside her had to be pushed back down and ignored. She was constantly on guard, not allowing herself to truly enjoy her coronation.

_Don't feel_.

The more she wrestled with her emotions, the more exhausted she felt, and the more exhausted she felt the harder it was to fight the power.

Usually she could release the magic whenever she wanted and nobody would have cared… because no one was ever there. Now, in this room full of people, she craved the solitude of the bedroom At least there it was quiet, there were no people to impress, no pressure to be someone she wasn't… to hide a part of herself that was as much a part of her as the nose on her face. It was the only place she could be herself with no expectations. But today she couldn't hide in her room, today she was the center of attention. All eyes were on her. that she had spent thirteen years of her life confined to. What once felt like a prison was now a sanctuary.

_Don't let it show. _

The people of Arendelle were overjoyed with the crowning of their new ruler, excited to finally lay eyes on the mysterious Princess – now Queen – Elsa. But they didn't know the secret that hid behind the beauty of the snow white complexion and icy blue eyes of their new queen. And they never could.

She had to leave, before it was too late.

"What? Elsa, no. No, wait!" Anna called after her as caught her sister's hand.

Not at all used to ever being touched, Elsa instinctively pulled free as Anna spun her face to face, simultaneously slipping the glove off her hand in the process. Elsa gasped, suddenly feeling vulnerable without the presence of the little piece of cloth. "Give me my glove!" She cried, reaching for it but falling short.

Oblivious of its importance, Anna now clutched it close to her, pleading, "Elsa, please. Please. I can't live like this anymore."

Those simple words stung in a way that Anna could never understand. Perhaps it was only a moment of frustration for her, but for Elsa it was a fact she was all too familiar with, something she'd beaten herself up for over and over again. No, Anna shouldn't have to live this way… locked away, sheltered from the world. She was the one that was cursed, but Anna still suffered because of it. It was her fault her sister was unhappy and she could never forgive herself for that, but there was nothing she could do or say to fix it, except the one thing she couldn't bear to think about. But she would do it; she would sacrifice chance at happiness, for Anna's.

It was the hardest thing she'd ever had to say, but there was no choice in the matter. She tried to push the feelings away, but it only made her weaker. She hoped Anna wouldn't see. "…Then leave."

Elsa wrapped her bare hand around to her side protectively, cradling it against herself with the other. She didn't want to hurt anyone.

_Don't feel. _

Anna leaned back, ever so slightly, taken aback. Didn't she understand that this was for her own good? But the heartbroken expression on her little sister's face was too much to withstand. Elsa's palms began to tingle and her fingers throbbed as the power built up, preparing to be unleashed.

_Make one wrong move and everyone will know. _

She sighed and turned back for the door.

"…What did I ever do to you?!"

"Enough, Anna." Elsa called back over her shoulder. The cold was getting stronger, begging her to be freed. She had to keep going. Deep breaths…

"No. Why? Why do you shut me out?!" Anna yelled, drawing the attention of the guests scattered around the ballroom. "Why do you shut the world out?!"

_Don't feel._

But that was easier said than done. She couldn't ignore the pain. The more she tried, the more the storm churned within her, ready to explode at any moment. She hugged her arms tighter around herself, shut her eyes – as if she could hold it in by force – and pressed on towards the door. Almost there.

"What are you so afraid of?!"

"I said enough!" And with that, the power surged and before she could stop herself, her arm flung back and threw down and arc of angry frozen spikes.

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**If you guys liked it, I can continue… I had planned to hit each Elsa scene and see where things went from there. WDYT**


	2. Escape

**I wanted to thank you all for the kind reviews and the follows/favorites. I know it wasn't a long chapter, so I didn't know if you all would find any interest. But, like I said, I plan to do them according to the scenes in the movie, so when it's done, it's done.. kwim? So, I apologize for the lack of length, but I had more fun with this chapter, so I hope you guys liked it. Please leave me your thoughts, I appreciate the feedback. :)**

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The ballroom echoed of a collective gasp as the coronation guests all witnessed Elsa's supernatural display. They instantly backed away from her, not sure of what else was to come. Some stared with wide-eyed shock, others cowered in fear. Afraid.

…Of her.

Horrified, Elsa pressed her back into the door, wanting to get as far away from everyone in the room as possible.

_I'm sorry!_

"…Sorcery." She heard the Duke of Weselton accuse as he hid behind his men "I knew there was something dubious going on here."

She squeezed her gloveless hand, curling her fingers and palm into one another in an effort to prevent any additional damage. She pulled it to her chest, while frantically fumbling to find the knob with the other hand. All the while, everyone stared at her. Like the freak of nature that she knew that she was.

The moment seemed to last forever, suspended in time just as Elsa's snowflakes had hung frozen in the air the last time Anna had come to her door, looking for comfort. And just like that day, she couldn't give her what she needed, what she deserved. She couldn't move… couldn't say a word that would make Anna understand why things were the way they were. And just like that day, Anna would lose yet another part of her family.

"Elsa…?"Anna breathed. The last missing puzzle piece of her life, finally in place, allowing her to gain full realization of the mystery that was her sister

With one last longing look, taking in Anna's sweet face for the last time, Elsa turned the knob and fled from the room.

She rushed through the halls until at last she burst through the castle doors and out into the courtyard. Cheers erupted as the citizens of Arendelle beheld their newly crowned queen. Shouts of "Queen Elsa!" and "Your Majesty!" swirled about her, but her head was spinning too much for any of it to register. She just wanted to get away, although she was not entirely sure where she was going. Still, she wove her way through the crowd, fully aware of her bare hand and making sure it didn't touch anyone as she passed through.

She dodged around person after person until almost bumping into a woman with a baby in her arms. "Your Majesty?" The woman asked, clearly sensing the queen's distress. "Are you alright?"

Elsa immediately stepped back, creating a distance between her and the child. She was so overwhelmed with emotions that she rarely let herself feel – let alone all at once – who knows what more could happen. If she caused something to happen to that baby… or anyone else for that matter, she didn't know what she would do.

She hated feeling this way. Her body was out of control and not knowing what it could do truly terrified her. And now that people knew about her magic… what would happen? If she didn't know what it was capable of, surely they didn't either. They would see her as a threat, not that she blamed them, and that was why she had to run.

Anna would learn to be a good queen and Arendelle would better off without her.

Elsa took one more step away from the woman with the baby, simultaneously bumping into the fountain behind her. Before she had time to think about it, she was reaching back to grasp the fountain for leverage. In an instant, the water crackled as it molded itself into a contorted icy plume.

More gasps. More fear. More people who wouldn't understand.

Just then, the Duke and his men spotted her. "There she is!" He announced. "Stop her!"

"Please, just stay away from me," Elsa pled, holding her hands out in front of her defensively. "Stay away!"

The wave of fear that rushed through her threatened to overpower whatever control she still had. A beam of frost shot from her exposed hand, causing the ground to ice and the Duke and his men to slip and fall.

"Monster…" The Duke yelled. "Monster!"

The crowd panicked.

Elsa panicked.

She felt the last bit of control slip away, bringing a snowy storm in its wake, giving her the perfect opportunity to escape the crowd and out through the castle gates.

In the distance, she was sure she heard it…

"Elsa!"

But she didn't stop. She had to get away from all these people. She was scared for her life… scared for theirs. It would be better for everyone this way.

She had just reached the water's edge when she heard it again.

"Elsa! Wait, please!"

_Anna?!_

She glanced back over her shoulder, seeing Anna and Hans just exiting through the gates.

_Oh, Anna. _

How she wished she could run back for just one last goodbye!

No. She had to go now or Anna would make this even harder than it already was.

Elsa turned back to the water. When she looked down she noticed it had frozen where it touched the toes of her shoes.

Good. This was going to work.

Elsa placed one foot on the surface, instantly freezing the water underneath… then, the other. After just a few seconds, she was running across the fjord towards the North Mountain, confident in every step. Never looking back.


	3. Let it Go

**Okay, so I think this chapter has officially left me cross-eyed.. lol -I've wracked my brain over certain lines.. paragraphs, for literally hours. I've rearranged and blah blah blah. All that to say.. I may have overlooked something I intended to edit, so if you noticed I've screwed something up, please tell me so I can go fix it for you. :) There are parts of this chapter that I really really love and then others that I'm not so sure of, so please review and let me know what you think. It's very much appreciated! :) Anyway, here ya go. I hope you enjoy it.**

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It had been hours since Elsa ran away, though how many she wasn't sure. She'd managed to make it to the North Mountain but had not allowed herself to stop until she reached the point she couldn't go any further on foot.

For a short while, the more distance she put between her and the castle, the more relieved she felt. She was safe, and so was everyone she left behind. But the longer she walked, the more she had time to think about what she was losing. She would miss her home, the last place she'd seen her parents alive. She would miss her books, which helped her pass so much of the time in the last thirteen years. She also wished she had been able to have a chance to see what kind of a queen she would make; she so wanted to make Papa and Mama proud, to prove that she was good at something, instead of always ruining everything… Like today.

Mostly she thought of Anna. Her baby sister who, though naïve, had the biggest heart of anyone she knew. Granted, she hadn't met all that many people, but Anna was special and Elsa didn't need to compare her to anyone else to know that. Anna loved, even when she got nothing in return. She had never given up, ever hopeful that one day Elsa would open that door and everything would go back to how it used to be. She would still sit there, talking to her about her day or the latest book she'd read, anything… just so her sister wasn't alone.

The more she thought about what she'd lost, the more the flakes continued to fall all around her, blanketing the mountain in a plush layer of fresh snow.

Sometimes, when Elsa had been especially upset and her room was buried under layers of frost and snow, her mama would come in to try and comfort her. She would tell her that she sensed she was having a rough day… call it, 'mother's intuition.' And maybe it was. Or maybe it was the draft under the door that dropped the temperature out in the hall that gave her away. Anna always said how chilly it was out there, even on Elsa's milder days. Whatever the reason, Elsa didn't care, she was grateful for the company nonetheless.

Mama would bring her warm tea with honey and lemon and try to warm her up with dry blankets from the linen closet. She would say how she hated seeing Elsa just sitting there in the freezing cold, whether she had powers or not. Elsa told her that she was fine, that she wasn't cold, but Mama would always stay until the snow started to dissipate, just to be sure. Sometimes it took a while. She sat with her… she couldn't hold her – Elsa wouldn't allow that – but she would talk with her about happy things, like the baby bunnies that were just born out in the yard or how Anna had learned how to ride her bike. And when that didn't work, Mama would sing to her, a luxury Elsa didn't dare give herself. With singing came feelings, and Elsa wasn't allowed to have those. But Mama's songs, even the made up and silly ones, always helped her feel better. She wished she was here with her now, maybe a song would help.

But Mama wasn't here… no one was. She only had herself.

"The snow glows white on the mountain tonight," she tried "not a footprint to be seen. A kingdom of isolation and it looks like I'm the queen. The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside. Couldn't keep it in, Heaven knows I tried…" she sang sadly, softly rubbing her arms as she held them close. Papa's gentle reminders echoed in her mind. "'Don't let them in, don't let them see.' Be the good girl you always have to be. 'Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know.'"

She looked down at her hand, still sheathed in the remaining blue glove, a pained look in her eyes as she realized its presence was no longer relevant. "Well, now they know." She yanked it off in frustration, tossing it into the swirling winds.

"Let it go." Elsa opened her left hand, releasing a wisp of sparkling snowflakes. Then the right… "Let it go." She smiled. "Can't hold it back anymore." She twirled her hands, the snow taking shape… creating a perfect replica of the snowman she and Anna had made on that last night together.

"Let it go. Let it go. Turn away and slam the door." The more she sang, the more ribbons of flurries danced in the air. Each blast pushing away any bit of sorrow she'd had. "I don't care what they're going to say. Let the storm rage on. The cold never bothered me anyway." She unfastened her cape, letting it float away in the storm.

"It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small. And the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all. It's time to see what I can do, to test the limits and break through."

Just then, Elsa thrust both hands forward, creating a frosted staircase complete with intricately designed handrails. "No right, no wrongs, no rules for me… I'm free!" Her face lit up with sheer excitement as she stepped on the first stair, the snow blew away revealing the perfection of the glass-like ice underneath. "Let it go! Let it go! I am one with the wind and sky." She sang as she ran up the stairs, arms outstretched wide. Snow glittered in the night sky as it blew off of each frosty stair that she neared. Elsa raced up the staircase as it climbed higher and higher, until finally it came to a stop on a nearby bluff.

Elsa stepped off, overcome with pure joy at what she'd just been able to do. She'd fought her powers for so long, trying to always keep them hidden and feeling like a failure when she couldn't. But now, in letting them free, she was pleasantly surprised that they obeyed her every whim. To use them was to control them and she never imagined just how good that could feel. For the first time in – she didn't even know how long – Elsa wasn't afraid.

"Let it go! Let it go! You'll never see me cry. Here I stand" she emphasized with a stomp, which opened up a massive snowflake shaped patch of ice under her feet. "And here I'll stay. Let the storm rage on…"

Elsa lifted her arms, almost as is if she was literally pulling her powers out of herself. She could feel the energy rumbling inside of her, stronger than she'd ever felt before.

Pillars of ice burst out from the ground, pushing the snowflake up high over the mountain. She stomped again, stopping the ascension, allowing the pillars to rise up high and connect into an exquisite dome above. From the center, hung a vine of icy crystals that splayed out into a massive chandelier.

Elsa flitted around what was now a grand room, arms twirling as they directed the ice to do exactly as she commanded. "My power flurries to the air into the ground. My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around. And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast–" She pulls her crown off her head, "I'm never going back, the past is in the past!" With one last glance, she tosses it aside, no longer the Queen of Arendelle.

"Let it go!" Elsa unpinned her formal hairdo, letting the braid that was the foundation of the bun to hang loosely over her shoulder. She raked her fingers through her hair, gathering the stray hairs that had fallen forwards. "Let it go! And I'll rise like the break of dawn." With a upward wave of her hand, the bottom of her dress magically began to transform from the conservative dress she had worn that day for her coronation to a silk-like blue gown. The delicate icy material slinked its way up her body until it slid over one arm and then down the other. Snowflakes adorned her braid, shimmering like jewels. With a flick of her hand, a translucent cape that sparkled like a sheet of icy lace, poured down her back, leaving a long train to follow as she strut her way out onto the balcony. The sky was awake, as Anna used to say. It was a new day, the first of her new life. "Let it go! Let it go! That perfect girl is gone. Here I stand in the light of day. Let the storm rage on! The cold never bothered me anyway."

And as she stood there in her palace made of ice, wearing nothing more than a gown of the same, she was content. No longer did she have to pretend to be someone she wasn't by hiding who she was.

She was at peace with who she was born to be.

The Snow Queen.


	4. Reflecting

**I don't think this is exactly what you guys may have been hoping for, but it's what wanted to be written apparently, so I hope you enjoy it. :) Please let me know how you feel about it/what you think. And thank you to all who have reviewed and followed and favorited, it means a lot.**

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_It's perfect!_ Elsa smiled as she stood in the center of her crystal palace. Her icy-blue eyes sparkled with delight as she slowly spun with outstretched arms, taking in every crystallized nook and icy cranny. She never knew the degree of the power that she possessed; she had never wanted to know. Since Anna's accident, it was all she could do to not create anything, even the gentlest flakes of snow. Not that she had ever been completely successful in controlling it, but there certainly was no more playing or experimenting with her magic to see what else it could do. Enough damage had been caused as it was and she didn't want to find out what more could be jeopardized by her hand. Never would she have imagined such beauty and wonder existed within her, when she was capable of so much destruction and despair. She closed her eyes and inhaled the crisp cold air… the scent of new beginnings.

She not only looked different, but she felt different. Stronger. Confident. Happy.

…Free.

She couldn't help but wonder if this is what her life should have felt like – if this is who she should have been – all along. Without isolating herself from everyone she loved, without hiding such an integrated part of her being… would she have been someone else? Would she still be that perfect girl she had always thought she had to be?

Would she have been so introverted, so serious? Or would she have been fun, and silly, and spontaneous, like Anna? Did she actually enjoy reading all those books, or was it just the most exciting thing she allowed herself, so she learned to like it? What hobbies would she have liked to try if she wasn't confined to a single room? Maybe she would have enjoyed painting, or playing the piano or violin. Perhaps she could have been an excellent ballroom dancer, floating and twirling across the room… holding hands with a partner and not putting their life on the line just because they did something as simple as touching her hand.

Elsa sighed; her future had been decided for her from the moment she took her first breath. She was an heir, a future queen. She didn't have time for those things anyway, even if she didn't have this power… Did she?

She honestly didn't know. But that didn't matter now anyway, the past was in the past. The fact was that, power did flow through her, taking up residence in every cell in her body and racing through her veins as much as the blood that kept her alive. It was a part of her and she could either be afraid of it, or embrace it.

After Elsa had watched the sunrise, she made her way back into the palace, creating more elaborate staircases that led to even more rooms. Each one covered with meticulously carved designs that stretched to every surface of the ceilings, walls, and archways, everywhere seemed to glisten like it had been encrusted with blue-glass crystals.

In the very center of her upstairs living quarters, was the best, most perfect part of all. Papa held Mama close, wrapping her in a loving embrace, her head laid against his chest. Smiles etched onto their frozen faces as they watched their little princesses laugh together as they stacked the huge snowballs they had made to create their very first snowman.

Just as Grand Pabbie, the troll who saved Anna, had done – altering her memories, Elsa did so for herself. She wanted new memories too, happier ones, replacing the isolation and fear with family and love.

They could have all been so happy, if only they had known that controlling her power didn't mean keeping it in, but letting it out and learning how it worked. Elsa wouldn't have lived her childhood in a bedroom, utterly afraid that she could have killed the people that she loved. Anna wouldn't have spent hers trapped in a big, lonely castle with nothing to do, wishing her sister had been there with her to run around the halls and slide down the banister on the spiral staircase. Her parents – although royalty – could have been able to raise their children like normal parents. Playing ball in the yard, teaching them to ride bikes, kissing booboos or giving goodnight hugs and kisses… And though they could do this with Anna, she doubted they could fully be happy knowing their oldest daughter was holed up in her bedroom, sitting alone in the cold.

Instead, parenting Elsa consisted of burdens that she had never wanted her parents to bear simply because she existed. Stresses that normal children didn't make for their parents, such as: cleaning up after her when there were damages to her room caused by the ice and snow that constantly consumed it, no physical contact, and ongoing worry about what devastation she was liable to create at any given moment.

Even if they hadn't meant to be, she knew they were afraid of her. They never said so, of course, not to her… but she could see it in their faces. The way they would exchange wary glances at mealtimes or whatever other times she was forced out of her room; sure, they wanted her there, but they were always noticeably on guard, never entirely sure if she was going to hurt anyone, or herself.

Sometimes at night, after she'd heard that Anna had been sent to bed, she would quietly slip out of her room and head to the library. And though not very frequently, but sometimes, when she'd creep past her parents' bedroom door, she could hear them inside arguing; and every time, it had been about her. The popular topics were: What more can we do for her? If only someone could help. I think it's getting worse. And, how will she be able to rule with this curse hanging over her head?

Ever since that night when Anna was injured and they went to see the trolls and Pabbie showed them the vision about people being fearful of Elsa's magic and trying to hurt her because of them, Papa had always been very concerned about her safety. The less people that knew about her powers, the less chance she would be hurt. But as much as he wanted to protect his daughter, it was also his duty to protect Arendelle, just as it would someday be hers as well.

She didn't want to be the cause of everyone's struggles, but even with spending ninety-five percent of her days alone, she still managed to be the very essence of what was destroying her family, as well as the monster that threatened to tear Arendelle apart from the inside out.

Else gave her head a good shake, clearing her mind and bringing her back to the present.

She looked at the smiles on her ice-parents faces and couldn't help but mirror one on her own, it was nice seeing them happy and worry-free for once. She wrapped her arms around them, kissing each of them on the cheek. "I really miss you guys."

She stepped back to look at them again, "I'm sorry that I failed you. All I've ever wanted was for you to be proud of me." She wiped a tiny crystal from her cheek. "But I messed up. I tried so hard to conceal it, Papa, I swear I did. But I wasn't strong enough." Another frozen tear fell from her eye. "I'm so sorry." She took a deep breath, wiped her face and squared her shoulders, head held high. "Things are different now," she explained." I've learned so much about myself in just the past day, how to be in control and still be happy being exactly who I am. I know you worried about me and I–I just wanted you to know I'm going to be okay. I've made peace. I… I wish you could see that." She gave a weak smile before turning back to the little girls that played beside her.

Anna looked like her five-year old self. Her sweet face radiated the purest joy that Elsa had ever seen. "I wish that much happiness for you forever, Baby Sister." She cradled Anna's cheek in one hand as she pressed a kiss onto the other.

Before leaving the room, she stopped at her own mini ice sculpture who played happily with her sister, without a fear in the world. For a minute, all she could do was stare; it had been so long since she had been that carefree. She slowly reached out her hand, gently tracing the girl's features with her fingertips. Elsa leaned down and placed a kiss atop the head of her younger self. "It's nice to see you smiling again, Little One."


	5. Such a Fool

**Okay, so I'm really, really, really sorry this has taken me so long to do. I've been dreading this one all along. It's one of my favorite scenes in the entire movie and I was really worried I wasn't going to be able to pull it off, at least to my own satisfaction (which I don't think it is, but whatever, I guess). Then I got distracted by inspiration and ended up writing a future chapter before I had even thought of how to begin this one. But hey... good news for the future, that one's already done so the wait for the next one (or one after that one, maybe) won't be this long. Anyway, I'm not sure how you guys will feel about this, but I hope you'll let me know your thoughts on everything. I love seeing what you are enjoying and what I'm on the right track with and likewise, what I need to work on. So, yeah... please review... if you're an author, you especially know how important they are for inspiration. :) As always, thank you, thank you to everyone who has reviewed and are following and favoriting and all that good stuff. -I wanted to give a big thank you to Lady Tralala (Toastyann) for letting me ramble at her and helping me decide what works and what doesn't. And also to LaraAleric, Zelda rules, and VioletStella for your kind words and encouragement. :)  
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Elsa's stomach rumbled noisily, though she was unsure if it seemed especially loud because of the echo in the palace, or because she hadn't eaten since before the coronation… well over 24 hours ago. Even then, it had only been some hot tea and a slice of toast; her nerves were working overtime, so she hadn't trusted her stomach to handle much more than that.

_Apparently I haven't completely thought this through. _She rubbed her stomach with a grimace. _I suppose I could try my hand at hunting… Although I doubt there's much around now with this storm. _She sighed. _Nice job, Elsa. A lot of good discovering yourself does when you end up starving to death._

She decided she would head down to the fjord, she wasn't sure how deep the ice had gone into the water when she ran across it, but a day in the hot sun was sure to have melted it by now. Maybe she could get lucky and figure out how to catch some fish. How she would cook them, however, she had no idea, but it was the best option she could come up with right now.

She laughed a little, trying to find a bit of humor in the situation. _I guess I should be thankful that I like fish. Looks like I'll be eating a lo—_

Just then the grinding sound that came from the opening of the giant double-doors pulled her from her thoughts. She froze. She had definitely not been expecting any visitors.

"Elsa, it's me… Anna?!"

_Anna?_ She rounded a corner and stepped out onto the landing that overlooked the room below. Sure enough, to her surprise, there was her little sister standing at the bottom of the staircase.

"Anna." Elsa greeted, probably sounding a little more upbeat than she should have, but she didn't care. She hadn't thought she would ever see Anna again and now she was standing just feet away.

"Whoa. Elsa, you look… different…" Anna began, her big blue eyes taking in her sister's transformation, from the icy high-heeled shoes on her feet to the loose locks that fell from her uncrowned head. "It's a good different…" She shifted her attention to her surroundings, "…and this place is amazing."

Elsa smiled, it felt good knowing someone else saw the beauty in what she could do. She should have known though, Anna was the only one who had ever seen the 'magic' in her power.

"Thank you," her arms fell open slightly as she gestured around her. "I never knew what I was capable of."

Anna started up the stairs "…I'm sorry about what happened. If I'd known–"

Elsa instantly felt uneasy at the advance and slowly began to retreat. "No, it's okay. You don't have to apologize.…" She held her hands out in front of her – as if she could mentally keep Anna back – before thinking better of it and pulling them in close. "But you should probably go. Please." She turned away slightly and gently rubbed her thumbs against her loosely clasped hands, fully aware of their nakedness now that Anna was in such close proximity.

"But I just got here."

_But you don't belong here. _"You belong down in Arendelle."

"So do you."

"No, Anna, I belong here. Alone. Where I can be who I am… without hurting anybody."

"…Actually, about that–"

"58… 59… 60."

"Wait. What is that?"

"Hey, I'm Olaf and I like warm hugs," a little snowman announced as he scampered into the room, stopping just beside Anna.

_What in the… _"Olaf?"

"You built me. You remember that?"

_Yes, of course I do, but… How…? _"And you're alive?"

Olaf flexed his little stick fingers. "Um… I think so?"

Elsa looked down at her hands. _This is incredible_. Her hands. Her magic. She'd done that? All these years of being afraid of herself, of bringing death… she had no way of knowing that her power could actually give life. Granted, it was just to snow, but it was nothing short of amazing nonetheless.

Anna knelt down beside Olaf and looked at him lovingly. "He's just like the one we built as kids."

_Exactly like it. _"Yeah." Elsa smiled, recalling the happiness they'd both shared when they made that 'Olaf' so many years ago.

"…Elsa. We were so close. We can be like that again."

Suddenly, the darker images of that night flashed before her eyes. The ice shooting from her hand and smashing into the side of Anna's head. The way she had tumbled down the snowbank towards the ground and laid there motionless. The streak of white that appeared in her hair that was a constant reminder to Elsa oh what she had done; she had almost killed her baby sister.

"No, we can't" She folded her arms in close her, holding those feelings inside the best she could, just like the night of the coronation. And just like that night, she turned her back on her sister, ready to part ways for the final time. _This is how it has to be. _"Goodbye, Anna." She walked towards the next flight of stairs.

"Elsa, wait–"

"No!" She turned back quickly and gestured with her hand for Anna to stay back. "I'm just trying to protect you."

But Anna followed right along after her. "You don't have to protect me. I'm not afraid."

_Why can't she ever do as I ask?! She so stubborn! Does she still not understand how hard this is for me? How hard it is to keep this power locked up inside as it festers and grows with every word she speaks… How hard it is to just turn away from her when she's calling out to me… _

"Please don't shut me out again. Please don't slam the door."

_And now she's singing…?! Oh, my heart. I can't do this. Please, Anna, please just go away. I can't 'not feel' anymore, I know now that that doesn't work, but I can't just 'let it go' with you here either. Please, please, please. Leave. I don't want you hurt._

Elsa hurried up the long staircase that led to the top floor; not too far behind, Anna did the same.

"You don't have to keep your distance anymore. 'Cause for the first time in forever, I finally understand." Anna sang as she ran to catch up. "For the first time in forever, we can fix this hand in hand. We can head down this mountain together. You don't have to live in fear. 'Cause for the first time in forever, I will be right here."

_If only it were that easy! _Elsa stood with her back towards Anna, she couldn't let her see how much those words had meant to her… but also how badly they tormented her, because she wished more than anything that they could come true. _If only every person in Arendelle were as understanding and forgiving as Anna. _

She had to think of a way to get her to understand that she couldn't go back. People were afraid of her; there wasn't any way she could change that now, not after what they'd seen her do and what rumors were bound to be spreading about her, even at that very moment. She had to stay here, this was her home now. But talking to Anna was useless; she wouldn't keep quiet long enough to really hear anything Elsa was saying.

Singing was Anna's outlet whenever she got emotional, she would just burst into song, like it was a perfectly normal thing to do. Elsa wasn't sure where her sister had picked up the habit, but she always thought it was kind of cute. Many times these little episodes came from the other side of Elsa's door. Whenever Anna wanted tell her sister about what was on her mind, or at times, when she was upset with her for not coming out to spend time with her, she would sing it to her. After a while, it seemed normal to Elsa too, though honestly she wasn't sure if being sheltered the way they were, if Anna had just never learned to express herself to other people properly. But who was she to say what was proper for dealing with one's emotions. If that's how Anna communicated, she would indulge her._ Maybe that will get through to her._

"Anna, please go back home." Elsa began low and steady. "Your life awaits. Go enjoy the sun and open up the gates." There were so many things that they'd missed out on, Anna deserved to discover and enjoy them.

"Yeah, but—"

"I know! You mean well, but leave me be." She walked away, out to the balcony where she beheld all that was now hers. She might not have anyone to share it with, but she didn't have to hide here and that was all the happiness she needed. "Yes, I'm alone but I'm alone and free." She turned, not surprisingly, Anna was beside her. "Just stay away and you'll be safe from me." Elsa went back into the palace.

"Actually, we're not."

"What do you mean you're not?" Elsa asked warily.

"I get the feeling you don't know."

Elsa whipped her dress to the side in frustration as she took a step towards Anna. "What do I not know?"

"Arendelle's in deep, deep, deep, deep snow." Anna singsong voice trailed off with the words that seemed so hard for her to say, clearly she had not wanted to upset her sister any further.

"What?"

"You kind of set off an eternal winter… everywhere."

_What? No! _"Everywhere?" _How is that possible?_

And as if the past day-and-a-half hadn't happened, the fear that she'd thought she overcame was back full force. Her powers reacted to it as they always had. Snow fell from above, intensifying by the second, as was Elsa's panic.

"It's okay, you can just unfreeze it."

_Unfreeze it?! _"No, I can't." She looked down at her hands helplessly. "I don't know how." _I've never known how._

"Sure you can. I know you can." Anna sang again with her ever-present optimism, "'Cause for the first time in forever…"

_I don't understand! How could this happen? What am I going to do? Why didn't it melt when I left? It always melts! _Elsa put her hand to her head, trying to process the information. This was all happening so fast. She thought she was free, and now, in a matter of minutes, her world was turned upside down. Again.

"I'm such a fool! I can't be free!" She sang out in despair.

"You don't have to be afraid." But what did Anna know about being afraid anyway?

"No escape from the storm inside of me!" Elsa wrung her hands against her chest. The more upset she got, the more the wind picked up, mirroring the turmoil that raged within.

Anna tried to push her way into the growing blizzard that swirled around her sister. "We can work this out together."

"I can't control the curse!" Elsa cried out, panic-stricken.

"We'll reverse the storm you've made."

"Anna, please, you'll only make it worse!"

"Don't panic."

_How can I not panic?! _Elsa ran her hands over her hair anxiously. "There's so much fear!"

"We'll make the sun shine bright."

But there was no sun, just the snow that was picking up, matching the strength of the power that was coursing through her. It was like nothing she'd felt before. She was scared… for the people of Arendelle and what she'd done to them… and also for herself—she felt like she was going to explode. Was that even possible? Could this magic be powerful enough to kill her? It felt like it could. She needed Anna to leave. If she was about to die, she didn't want her to suffer that experience. And if it wasn't going to kill her, she honestly had no idea what it was going to do. Either way, Anna should not be here.

Elsa turned to her sister, but she could barely see her through the thick, white veil that surrounded her. "You're not safe here!"

"We can face this thing together…"

"Nooooooo!" Elsa balled her fists against her head, trying to drown out Anna's voice, trying to clear any bit of space in her mind for her to get a hold on and fight back against the storm. But she couldn't think, she was getting disoriented and just wanted to get away. Naturally, her human instinct to run from danger had kicked in, but there was nowhere to go; because, obviously, you can't run from yourself, not that she could think clearly enough to realize that anyway. She spun around, but the storm just wrapped tighter around her. She tried again, but this time the entirety of the elements that filled the room sucked into her body, adding to the intensity that was already dwelling there at max capacity. The pressure was like nothing she'd ever felt. It hurt to breathe.

"We can change this winter weather, and everything will be…"

_Aaaaaaahhhhhhh! _"I CAN'T!" And then, her chest exploded. At least, that was how she would describe the sensation. Sharp icy blasts burst through her ribcage from the inside out. But strangely enough, the release felt… nice. She wasn't dead. And, the pressure from the pent up power that had built up inside was gone; she could breathe again. She took a few calming breaths before she turned to face Anna once more.

She gasped at the sight of her sister crumpled on the ground. _Oh no… Is she hurt? _But before she could check on her, a man's voice rang out through the room.

"Anna."

Elsa flinched as he came running through and slid to Anna's side.

"Are you okay?" He asked as he helped her to her feet.

"I'm okay… I'm fine." She said, although the way she emphasized the last portion seemed as if it were meant for Elsa to know rather than the man beside her who had asked the question.

Elsa noted that since she was conscious, that must be a good sign that she hadn't been hurt after all. Now that she knew Anna was okay, her mind immediately jumped to the mysterious blonde-haired man that stood protectively beside her.

"Who's this?" Elsa took a few nervous steps away from them. "Wait, it doesn't matter. You have to go."

"No, I know we can figure this out together—"

"How?" _What does she think can be done?!_ "What power do you have to stop this winter? To stop me?" _I can't even stop me. _Icy spikes sprouted from the shadows that were creeping down the walls.

"Anna, I think we should go." The man coaxed her, tugging gently on her arm. He looked rather anxious to leave. And rightfully so.

"No." She shrugged out of his hold. "I'm not leaving without you, Elsa."

Her sister's steadfast concern for her well-being was so touching that it was becoming unbearable. The pain in her chest was returning and she didn't want to go through any of that again. She had to make them go, once and for all.

"Yes, you are," she stated weakly. It broke her heart to do it, but she didn't have any other choice. Elsa brought her hands up and then threw them down, striking the ground with her magic. She stumbled backwards a few steps as a giant snow creature appeared before them.

A few seconds later, the creature had escorted them out of the palace and Elsa was alone once more. She stood in the silence of the empty room for a long while, trying to make sense of all that had just happened and where she was supposed to go from here. The confidence she thought she had found seemed to have disappeared, one visit from Anna and the old Elsa was back, and the idea of being here all alone, forever, suddenly didn't seem so overwhelmingly appealing anymore.

She'd have to rethink things later, she decided. She was too emotionally and physically drained to think rationally right now.

But at least she wasn't hungry anymore.


	6. Monster

**Sorry it took a little while... definitely not as bad as last time though. ;) Anyway, I hope you guys like it. Thanks for the great reviews, I really enjoy reading them. **

* * *

_She's fine. She was standing right there and… and she was talking and she— _Elsa gripped her head in her hands as she paced around the room._ But she was on the ground. And she looked hurt. _She shook the image from her mind. _No. No, she was moving and she was alert…I couldn't have hit her. If I hit her, she'd have been still… cold. _The familiar memory that seemed to plague her mind flashed before her once more… little Anna, nothing more than a breath away from death._ No. This is nothing like that. _Elsa hunched over her arms which she hugged across her abdomen. _She's fine. Anna is fine! _She tried to convince herself._ …She has to be. _

But if that was true, then why did Elsa feel this way? Her heart was pounding in her chest. Her palms were clammy and she'd broken out in a cold sweat. She was dizzy and felt like she was going to be sick. The pacing wasn't helping, but for some reason, she couldn't stop. She squeezed her eyes shut. _Deep breaths, Elsa. Deep breaths_. She tried to follow her own advice, to calm herself, but it wasn't working. The breaths she drew in were too shaky and the ones she let out were more like strangled whimpers of pain. Physical pain, or mental or emotional… she wasn't sure, they were all one in the same now. Where it began and where it ended didn't matter. She just hurt and she wanted it – needed it – to stop.

Elsa forced herself to take more deep breaths. She needed to relax. If what Anna said was true, and she had no doubt that it was, and Arendelle was still suffering because of her, even from this far away… what more could be going on there right now because she couldn't get a hold of herself?

_Breathe… _She opened her eyes.

The frozen walls of the hexagonal room that surrounded her had now turned to an unnatural angry red. Blood red. _It's a sign. _

"Get it together."

_She's going to die._

"Control it."

_Her blood is on your hands._ She cradled them slightly away from her chest. "Don't feel. Don't feel."

_Monster._

Elsa pressed her fingertips to her temples, trying hard to focus. "Don't. Feel."

It didn't work. _You killed your own sister. _

"Don't FEEL!"

The groaning of growing ice pulled her from her anguished state and finally halted her endless pacing. Icy branches crackled and climbed the up walls and down to the floor below, spreading, like the fear that ravaged her soul.

Her palace that once – albeit temporarily – brought her so much joy and peace and represented her newfound freedom, now felt scary and confining and resembled the inside of a medieval torture chamber rather than the beautiful crystalline structure that it had been. Sharp, icy fragments jutted out from nearly everywhere; pointing at her, mocking her and laughing at the mess she'd made of her life.

* * *

Outside, Elsa could hear the sounds of commotion. She quietly pulled open the main doors of the castle and peered out. Beyond the staircase that bridged between her palace and the lower mountain ledge, her snow creature was involved in altercations with several men who, the majority of, seemed to be wearing the uniforms of the Arendelle guard.

_How did they find me?_

The creature had backhanded two men and tossed them into a nearby snowbank. _Those uniforms… Are they from… _she gasped _Weselton! _The words of the Duke rang in her ears. 'Sorcery!'…'Monster!' He had been terrified of her… there was no way he'd care to send his men to help find her and bring her back to Arendelle. And if had offered, surely he hadn't intended them to bring her back alive. _He sent them to kill me. _

She slipped back inside and let the door shut, but not before the men had seen her. "The queen!" She heard one shout.

_What am I going to do?!_

Elsa half-ran to the stairs and half-watched the door. When they burst through the entry, she hiked up her dress and quickly sprinted up to the second floor.

"Up there!"

"Come on!"

The two men took the stairs, crossbows in hand, and followed her to the upper floor.

Just a few paces behind, they'd reached the room before Elsa had even made it halfway across. "We got her."

"Agh!" She started at their intrusion. _I'm trapped!_

They raised their weapons and locked their aim onto their target.

Elsa lifted her hands pleadingly. "No. Please."

But the one with a mustache didn't hesitate. He fired his bow, shooting an arrow directly at her. In one swift movement, she recoiled, ducked her head behind her risen left arm and shielded her face with her hands. _This is it._

The end.

Only, it wasn't. Elsa held her stance for a beat, before realizing that she was still breathing. Heavily. But breathing… and very much not-dead.. _Huh? _She carefully opened her eyes, shocked to see that she now stood behind a sheet of ice that had protected her from the would-have-been fatal blow. The arrow pierced the shield, where it now resided just inches from her face.

"Go around!"

The man with the empty bow beckoned to his partner for another arrow before they rushed around to her right. Elsa pivoted back so she was facing them and thrust her arms out in front. _Please. _"Stay away!" she warned, pushing a similar wall to her shield up against them, keeping them as far back as possible. _I don't want to hurt anyone!_

"Look out!" The men tumbled aside and rebounded to their feet. "Fire! Fire!" The younger of them appeared to her left; she threw out her hand, keeping him at bay with a well-aimed blast. At the same time, the other man, the one with the mustache that had shot the arrow at her head without even a moment's hesitation, now ran to her right. She threw out her other hand to keep him back as well, but he'd bobbed to the side and kept after her. She used both hands now and pushed him back with one of her walls. "Get her!"

Both men circled her now, crossbows drawn and ready to fire. Although now, with Elsa's hands extended to each of them, warning against their advance, they seemed slightly more cautious about when would be the best time to take the next shot. Elsa remained on guard, steeling glances between the two men.

_One slip, Elsa…. A prolonged blink, a quiver in your arm. One mistake and you're dead. They're waiting for the advantage._

Suddenly, she used her left hand to send out bursts of well-placed spikes that pinned the younger one against the wall. One blade slid menacingly slow towards his face. Then, while still holding out a steady hand to the contained man, she used her right to take a shot against the other, knocking his bow to the ground. He tried to run, but with a fling of her arm, she put up a blockade causing him to run the other way. She put up another, trapping him in her path. Finally, she put up a third, this time sliding it towards him, backing him out onto the balcony.

"Queen Elsa!" She heard from behind her. _…Prince Hans? _"Don't be the monster they fear you are!"

Hearing her own name brought her to reality and with that, exactly what she was about to do. She had almost done the one thing she had spent her entire life determined to never do. These men… she almost killed them. _What am I doing?_ She looked over her shoulder to the prince and the men in her guard that stood behind him; all of them wide-eyed with the horror at the situation that was displayed in front of them. Elsa's own eyes were full of fear at the realization of what was happening._ How did I let this happen?_ _This isn't me. _She slowly lowered her hands and turned slightly towards Hans.

Taking the advantage of Elsa's distraction, the man pinned to the wall raised his weapon; ready to take the open shot at the queen's chest. Prince Hans rushed at him, deflecting the weapon just as the arrow released, turning it up at the ceiling and away from the young woman standing vulnerably in the center of the room.

The arrow flew through the air, making contact with something above her. Elsa looked up just in time to see that the massive chandelier, with every point of its layered crystal flakes, had been hit and was rapidly falling towards her, in all of its knife-wielding glory. With a gasp, she ran as fast as her legs would carry her, narrowly escaping the impact as it crashed down around her and sent millions of shards of icy shrapnel flying throughout the room. The tremor from the explosion knocked her feet out from beneath her, throwing her forward – head first – onto the solid ice floor.

And just like the curtain that had covered her parents' picture after they passed, so was Elsa's consciousness…

Black.


	7. Restrained

**I hope you guys enjoy this chapter... most of it I've had written for quite a while now. (This is partially what held up Let it Go... but hey, I was inspired. ;) lol) So, yeah... I hope you like it. It's quite long, for me anyway. Hopefully that's a good thing. ;) As always, please review if you can, I appreciate everything you guys say... it's always an incentive to keep going. **

**Thanks to Lady Tralala for being my sounding board, for this one especially. :)**

* * *

Elsa shifted uncomfortably; her entire right side pressed against something hard and unyielding – save for her head which rested on something much softer. Her eyes fluttered open, barely needing any time to adjust as she took in the dim surroundings. _Where am I? _Stone, everywhere. At the far end there was a door that she assumed was locked. She pushed up with her elbow so she was sitting and noticed a familiar-styled window on the wall beside her.

_Arendelle?! _

All she could see was the bright white that shone through. _Please, no. _She had to get a closer look. She rushed to the window, only to have her arms yanked behind her, nearly pulling her shoulders out of their sockets. "Ugh!"

For the first time, she noticed that her hands had been confined… encased in large iron shackles that covered past her wrists. The ends were tethered to the floor by two heavy chains. Given her recent actions, this did not come as a surprise.

She stepped around the chains carefully, lifting her dress over, so that she could get closer to the window. The chains pulled on her hands, stretching her arms and she leaned back to get a better view.

Outside, the entire kingdom was covered with mounds of snow. "No… What have I done?" _It's completely frozen._

The door creaked. Elsa turned around with a gasp as Prince Hans stepped inside and set down a lantern on a bench inside the entryway.

"Why did you bring me here?"She demanded, taking a few steps towards him.

Hans closed the distance between them and crossed his arms, the chill that hung in the air was evident in the visible breath that escaped when he spoke. "I couldn't just let them kill you."

"But I'm a danger to Arendelle." Elsa looked sadly at the iron gloves that confined her hands. "Get Anna."

"Anna has not returned."

_What? If she's not here, then... _She looked out the window again, the snow, the ice, Anna wouldn't survive out there for long on her own. A sinking feeling settled into her stomach.

"If you were just stop the winter, bring back summer… please."

She closed her eyes solemnly. _You don't get it! _She sighed, defeated. "Don't you see… I can't." _Maybe if I could get further away… _"You have to tell them to let me go."

"I will do what I can.."

And then he was gone, and she was alone. Again. But this time, unlike her years spent in her room, she was trapped. Chained up like an animal, locked in a cage. Deep down, she'd always known it was a possibility, but she had hoped it would never have to come to this. This room, these shackles. Her shackles. Afterall, they had been designed especially for her.

Elsa stopped by her parents' door as she typically did on her way to the library. With as little time as she got to spend with them, she just liked hearing their voices, even if it was just to overhear yet another 'Elsa and her powers' conversation. However, had she known the route this one was going to take, she would have kept walking.

* * *

"I thought you said this would get better?" Her mother accused, fear and frustration resonating in her voice.

"That's because I thought it would!" Her father half-shouted back in a matching tone. "But I have no way of knowing for sure. This is as foreign to me as it is to you."

"I know, I—I'm sorry," she said softly. "But, do you think she'll ever be able to control it?"

"The gloves seemed to be helping, but now I… I don't know."

Elsa absently fidgeted with the fingers on her gloves as she hovered by the door; today's pair were lavender, silky and snug.

"It's getting stronger with age."

"I've been thinking a lot lately, and I think…" he hesitated, clearly choosing his words carefully. "We need to be… prepared… should the situation ever arise…"

"_Prepared?_ Prepared for what? What situation…?"

_Yes. _Elsa's attention piqued at this turn in the conversation. _What situation? _She pressed her ear tightly against the door.

"One thing I am sure of, is that Elsa being able to control her powers relies heavily on her mental capacity to be aware of them at all times. I can only assume it is very taxing on her and honestly… I don't believe she will be able to maintain that composure forever. The constant strain on the mind, the physical exhaustion from fighting against your own body; it would be too much to expect from anyone, let alone a child or young woman also under the stresses of assuming the throne. I just don't know if or when that wall she's built begins to crumble, what condition it may leave her in… if she'll even be in her right mind. And once that control is lost, she may not have the strength, mental or physical, to get it back. And that worries me because that would be very, very dangerous. For all of us."

"What are you saying?" Mama's voice was shaking now.

"I'm saying we have to be realistic. Please, keep an open mind." He took a deep breath before continuing. "I've talked to Pabbie… He has offered, if we ever needed, to look after Elsa. He understands magic far better than we do and he thinks she would do well with their guidance an–"

_What! No! _Outside the door, Elsa was horrified. _Please, no. I don't want to leave!_ Thankfully, Mama was just as outraged by the idea. "NO! ...No. No, she's not going anywhere. We can't–I won't–do that to her. We're not sending her away… she's twelve years old! She's just a child!"

"I know," he soothed. Elsa could hear her mother's muffled cries, Papa must have been holding her now. Comforting her.

She wished someone were able to do that for her. The world around her was starting to spin, her legs wobbled beneath her. She grabbed ahold of the doorframe and slid down against it until she was safely on the floor. _I'll try harder. I promise. I'll be good!_

"But she won't always be a child. What do we do when she's bigger and I'm no longer a match for her? Will you have me hire more guards for the sole purpose of restraining my own daughter if it becomes necessary?"

"I don't care! She isn't going anywhere! I won't allow it!"

"I know this is hard. I do. I love Elsa with all my heart; I want nothing but the best for her. However, as much as I hope and pray that the future is kind to her and her powers will settle down… that she will be fully capable of accepting her role and be the best ruler that Arendelle has ever seen, I can't help but feel that we need to accept that that may not be how this plays out… I think we should have a plan. Just in case."

It was quiet a long time, before her mother's thoughts finally pierced the silence. "I carried her for nine months… spent thirty-two hours in labor. How did I not know? …What did I do wrong?"

"You know we have no idea why it happened. You mustn't blame yourself."

"_I hate this!" _Her mother hissed. "This is not the life we had planned for her. She deserves so much more and I—I don't know how to fix it. If she had been born blind, or deaf even… those at least we could learn to help her with. But _this_? This can't be helped. I'm her mother; I'm supposed to protect her… to kiss it and make it better and make the scary things go away… and I can't! …Why did this happen to us? Why did this choose my sweet Elsa? She's so unhappy and I can't even comfort her … I just—I just want to hold my daughter!"

"I know," her father agreed, sadness dripping from just those two little words. "I hate seeing how this has changed her. She's much too quiet and reserved… I feel like we're losing her. The sparkle in her eyes has just… disappeared."

"As has her smile," her mother sniffled. "I miss it so much… seeing her happy."

"Sometimes, I almost forget what it was like," he mused, "having her run around the halls with Anna, or snuggling on my lap by the fire after supper."

"We need to get our little girl back… We have to figure something out. But we cannot send her away."

"Believe me, that is the last thing I want." He sighed. "I just… I can't think of another way if—if this gets bad."

"This is her home. She belongs here. We will manage. Anna cou—" she stopped herself before saying the next thought aloud "…Anna could take over as heir. When she's old enough, we'll tell her about the magic, we'll make her understand. She loves Elsa. She'll keep her safe if anything were to ever happen to us."

"And what about Anna?"

"…What about Anna?"

"What if this power is uncontrollable? Who will keep _her_ safe? We have two daughters… we have to consider what's best for each of them."

"Elsa would never hurt her."

"No, of course not… Not by choice. But we've seen the dangers this power can cause already. What if we haven't even seen a taste of all it can do? …Anna could have di—"

"I KNOW!" She snapped. A long pause, which seemed like hours to Elsa, and then, almost inaudibly, "we'll have to prepare a c—… a c-c-cell…" Elsa could hear the shuddering of her mother's sobs, "f-f… for her."

_A cell?! _A wave of terror swept over her, she couldn't move. _They would lock me away?! "But I didn't mean to hurt Anna," _she wanted to scream,_ "it was an accident! It won't happen again, I swear!"_

"…I–I never wanted to imprison her," her father stated, taken aback by the suggestion. "I just thought… Well, wouldn't you rather her be free?"

"With the trolls?! No. No, I couldn't live knowing she's was out there, that we abandoned her. At least this way, she'd be close… She needs her family. And I need her here. It's bad enough she barely leaves that room. I already feel like I don't know her anymore. This _curse _has taken my baby from me. I can't lose her any more than I already have."

He cleared his throat. "Very well… I'll see what can be done. Let's just hope we never have the need to…"

Elsa didn't hear the rest, but really, what did it matter? She couldn't listen any longer. She didn't blame them really, she couldn't. She would have done the same thing, she told herself. But it still hurt. She wanted to run, to go back to her room, to be anywhere else but in front of that door. But she couldn't, everything around her spun faster and faster, her ears were ringing and her vision dimmed—all except for the stars. She felt sick. She rolled onto her side and curled into a ball right there on the floor. Her body trembled as she fought to keep her cries silent. A thin layer of ice formed beneath her, but she didn't care. It was soothing against the side of her hot tear-streaked face that lay on the floor.

Were they still talking? She couldn't tell anymore. All she knew was that the blackness was beginning to swallow her up. She closed her eyes, willing it to come and take her away from this misery.

_...Elsa… Elsa?... _"ELSA!"

Someone was shaking her. "Elsa! …Elsa, please wake up!"

"Put her on the bed," she heard another voice say frantically. "Be careful on the ice!" Then she felt herself being lifted. Instinctively, her mind told her to break free, that nobody should be touching her. But she couldn't remember why, so she didn't struggle. She didn't know if she could even if she wanted to, her body was heavy—impossible to move, she couldn't even open her eyelids. No, she couldn't stop it, she decided, but it was okay… she kind of liked it. She barely remembered what that was like, having someone's arms wrapped around her. She felt safe in the grip of the strong arms that carried her to… Wait. Where was she?

When the movement stopped, she realized she was laying on something soft… warm, against her naturally cool skin.

"What's going on?" She heard the frantic voice ask. "What's happened to her? Is she alright? ..Is she breathing?"

"I—I don't know what happened. But yes, she is breathing."

She felt a shaky hand lightly brush the hair away from her face. "Elsa? Elsa, honey… it's your Mama. Please. Please open your eyes, baby."

_Mama? _

"Elsa? Can you hear me?"

_Papa?_

She felt a gentle squeeze around one of her hands.

_Please don't do that. _

"Wake up, sweetheart." Another little squeeze.

_Don't touch me. Please. I don't want to hurt you._

Almost as if she'd said it aloud, her hand was quickly placed back onto the soft surface.

"What is it?"

"It's nothing," Papa said. And then, like he had changed his mind, he added, "The ice is coming through the glove."

Mama gently pressed her palms against Elsa's face. "Is she always this cold?"

"Please don't touch me." Elsa asked breathlessly.

"What did she say?" Papa asked, leaning closer. His voice was louder now. "Elsa? Tell us again. What did you say?"

She tried to open her eyes, but they barely fluttered. "Please…"

"Please what, darling?" Mama pressed. "What do you need? Papa and I are right here for you. Just open your eyes." She took the opportunity to place a kiss on her daughter's forehead.

Elsa tried again, this time she managed to keep them open for a second or two between blinks. The light in the room was too bright and made them water.

"Oh, baby, don't cry. It's okay," Mama said soothingly, she was gently combing her fingers through her hair again.

Elsa shook her head slowly. "I don't want to hurt you."

She opened her eyes fully now, Mama sat on her right side and Papa on the left. She was on their bed. They exchanged a concerned look and then both of their gazes fell back to Elsa's face. She was feeling more alert by the second, the traces of grogginess almost gone. She scurried back towards the headboard, her hands raised in front of her defensively. "Please. Please just stay there."

They looked at each other again, then simultaneously, they raised their hands as well, not in fear… but surrender.

"Okay… Okay, Elsa. Just stay calm. We won't come any closer. I promise." Papa slowly put his hands down, then Mama dropped hers as well. After a few more seconds, Elsa lowered hers into her lap.

"Elsa, honey…" Mama began. "Are you alright? How are you feeling? You gave your father and I quite a scare."

"I—I'm sorry. I—I didn't mean to frighten you… I'm okay now. Thank you." She looked down into her lap, once again fidgeting with the fingers of her gloves. "May I go now?"

"No…Elsa. I think we need to discuss what just happened before anyone goes anywhere," her father said. "If you're ill… Well, then we need to figure out what exactly is going on and who we can trust to come and help you."

"I'm not sick," she muttered.

"Then what is it? Why were you passed out outside our door?" He stopped for a second, finally connecting the dots. "…Oh…" he whispered. "Oh, Elsa… Were you out there the whole time? Did you… did you hear your mother and I discussing…" He couldn't finish.

Elsa slowly nodded her head, not meeting either of their eyes.

Her mother choked back a sob. "Elsa—I… I am so, so, sorry you heard that. You were not meant to know—"

"It's okay. It was my fault… I shouldn't have been eavesdropping."

"That still doesn't change what you heard." Papa reached out to her, she flinched away slightly, but he didn't pull back. He gently tipped her chin up so that they made eye contact. "Elsa. What we said… It doesn't change anything. Your mother and I love you very much and we want nothing but the very best for you. What we discussed were merely precautionary ideas. We would never follow through with them unless it was absolutely necessary. Do you understand? …We just don't know enough about your powers and what could happen…"

"I understand." She tried to think of something else to say, something that would make them feel better, something that would get her out of there and back into own room. "I just… I really don't want to live with the trolls." Elsa wrinkled her nose.

Papa smiled. "Okay… No trolls. We'll just have to find a solution that we all can live with." He patted her knee, startling her.

Ice spread from the toe of her shoe, which only upset her more by seeing her lack of control. It spread further until the entire top of the bed was covered. "Oh no! Your bed!" she shrieked. "I'm so sorry! I—I wasn't paying attention… and I—"

"Shh… It's okay, Elsa, it's nothing. We'll have the bedding changed. No harm done." Mama smiled, trying to make her feel better. Instead, she just felt worse.

Papa was right; they all needed to accept that this may not ever get any better. She buried her face in her hands. "…I think the cell is a good idea."

"…Elsa," her father began to protest.

"No!" She slammed her fist down onto the frozen coverlet, a snowflake shaped layer of ice appeared beneath it. It spread out over the previous smooth layer and climbed up the bedposts, encrusting everything in crackly ice. Elsa's eyes widened at what she'd just done. She wasn't even trying to do that, but it further solidified her stance on the matter. "Don't you see? I'm dangerous! Like you said, Papa… I can't fight it forever. I get distracted or tired and I… I mess everything up!"

"Elsa, we will come up with another way," her father stated firmly.

She shook her head. There was no other way. If she, even due to sheer exhaustion, allowed the powers to take over, where did that leave her? Would 'Elsa' be in there anymore? Could she regain control of her body? She wasn't sure. The more she thought about it, the more she liked the idea of having a secure place ready. Nobody else should ever be hurt again because of her. And Mama was right. A cell would hold up against a little cold and water. And, she would be at home, at least. Maybe even have the occasional visitors… not that she'd deserve them, but, a girl can dream.

Flurries of snow had begun to fall and settle around them. Mama rubbed her hands up and down her arms, but dropped them quickly when she saw that Elsa was watching.

"I'm really tired. Can I go to bed now?"

"Yes. I suppose you can," Papa sighed, all of a sudden looking as exhausted as she felt.

She quickly slid down off the bed and hurried to the door. She stopped at the threshold and turned back momentarily. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, my love." Mama forced a smile, but it didn't hide the pain that Elsa knew she had caused her mother.

Papa nodded towards her. "Goodnight, Elsa."

She turned back slowly and waited until she had stepped out of sight before she took off running. The look on her mother's face, fresh in her mind… and the words that she'd spoken earlier when Elsa listened at the door, ran through her head.

_Why did this happen? Why me? _

Frozen tears stuck to her lashes, obstructing her view, but she kept running, tripping a few times along the way.

_It's not fair! Am I that bad of a person that I deserve this life?!_

She burst through the door and slammed it behind her, not caring now if anyone heard or not. They couldn't get to her anyway; a sea of jagged spikes consumed the ground between the door and her bed, where she'd thrown herself face-first into the pillows, the perfect place to release the tormented scream that followed.

Within seconds, the temperature in the room had dropped significantly; a welcome comfort that would numb the pain and eventually allow her to drift off to sleep, huddled beneath her blanket of snow.

* * *

Elsa looked down at the shackles, which were beginning to freeze over. Her breathing sped rapidly as the panic set in. _I need to get out of here! _Out the window, she saw the storm picking up. _I need to find Anna. _The frost from the restraints spread down onto the chains and quickly spread throughout the room. Ice coated the stones and the window like cobwebs. She pulled hard, trying to break free from their hold. She paused just long enough to hear the voices on the other side of the door.

"Hurry up!"

"She's dangerous!"

"Move quickly."

"Careful."

Elsa struggled again the chains, grunting and pulling with all her might.

"It won't open!"

"It's frozen shut."

Finally, the shackles cracked open. The stone walls were crumbling all around, allowing her to escape through the opening where the window had just been.

She ran as fast as she could, disappearing into the blizzard, away from the castle. Towards Anna.


	8. There's Beauty and There's Danger Here

**I'm really, truly sorry, about the delay on this chapter. It took me a while before I was brave enough to even attempt it. But, I did it and I'm happy about it and I hope you guys like it. :) This is the final chapter, btw. So, please let me know what you guys think. Thanks to all who read and review and favorite and follow. It makes me really happy that you guys are enjoying everything.**

* * *

"Anna…" Elsa breathed as she trudged through the drifts of snow that covered the castle grounds. _Anna, where are you?! _Hans said her sister had not yet returned. She had to still be on her way home, that blonde-haired man who was with her at the palace would surely see to it that she'd returned safe, wouldn't he? It was the gentlemanly thing to do. Elsa couldn't bring herself to think about what would happen if Anna was out there all alone, wandering along unfamiliar stretches of land that were even more indistinct when buried under feet of snow, the brightness blinding and disorienting. Not the mention the arctic temperatures; and the wind. Elsa shuddered. She had to find her. And soon.

How had Hans and the guards trekked all the way down the mountain and not seen her? But, Elsa wasn't sure of the route they'd taken since she had been unconscious for the entire trip, For a moment, her attention had changed direction, a wave of discomfort washed over her, knowing that the only way she'd gotten back to Arendelle was by the hands of those men. Not only had they touched her without her consent, but possibly in ways she would not have allowed if she'd had a say in the matter_._ She quickly shook the thoughts from her mind. _Now's not the time. _Anna. She had to find Anna.

She decided the best way would be to retrace the path she'd taken after the coronation, when she'd fled to the mountains.

The snow swirled heavily in the gusts that surrounded her and made it difficult to see very far in front of her. She was maybe halfway across the fjord, when she stopped to assess her surroundings. She'd been able to make out a few ships that had stopped mid-journey, literally frozen in their tracks… but no Anna.

_She has to be here! _Elsa turned round and round, frantic. _Please. Please let me find her. Please. Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease… _She clenched her head in her hands. _What am I going to do…? _

Confusion and fear rose up within her when she realized she'd lost her sense of direction; not sure of which way to go or where she had come from. She would start off going to the left, only to change course and stumble to the right. She wanted to run – tried to run – she didn't have time to waste… but she was lost. She'd never find her sister now. She turned around again, gasping when a figure in the distance caught her eye and quickly spun around to flee. Without a proper cell to confine her to now, she didn't know what they would do to her if she was apprehended.

But the voice that called from behind her was familiar, stopping her in her tracks. "Elsa. You can't run from this!" _Hans. _He loved Anna; he would find her. He would do what she could not. She was a failure… always had been. If only she could disappear.

Elsa backed into the storm. "…Just take care of my sister."

"Your sister?" Hans asked, advancing towards her. "She returned from the mountain weak and cold. She said that you froze her heart."

"What?" _Her heart?! _"No." _When we brought Anna to Pabbie, he said we were lucky it had been her head… that the heart… _She couldn't bring herself to finish the thought. _No. I didn't—I couldn't have… _The thoughts that tormented her earlier, still unresolved in her mind, came back in an instant. Anna had stood right there in front of her, she seemed okay… _But why would he make up something like this?_

"I tried to save her, but it was too late."

She gasped. _…No!_

"Her skin was ice. Her hair turned white…"

_How could he know that, the cold, the streak…? Anna doesn't even know… _

"Your sister is dead… because of you."

_…D—dead?...No. _"No." Elsa stumbled back, disoriented; she wasn't strong enough to fight it – the storm around her or the one raging inside. She staggered and turned to go… anywhere, but her weakening frame buckled beneath her and she collapsed onto the hard ground, never before feeling anything so cold and unforgiving.

Rock bottom.

The swirling storm came to a sudden halt. Snowflakes suspended in mid-air as Elsa grieved the loss of the last person she had ever loved.

She was certainly not a stranger to grief, her parents had died too after all, but this was different. Worse even. She never imagined that was possible, for something to hurt worse than that pain she'd felt three years ago. That pain, back now in full force, was excruciating; only now it was magnified by her guilt. Elsa hadn't been the cause of her parents' deaths, but Anna's… she'd killed her. Her little sister was gone, forever… and she was responsible.

When she fled into the mountains, she had accepted that she would never see Anna again, but that had been her own choice. Anna was still okay and Elsa would just have had to go on living without her. It was hard, but at least she knew her sister would be safe, so the decision was easy. Now, the choice was ripped away from her. She would have to endure living without Anna, but this time there was no consolation.

Her cute, spunky, loving, loyal, little sister was not okay, and she certainly would not be coming to find her.

The world seemed to be closing in. The silence that came with the still of the winds somehow felt like it sucked her further into the depths of her being. Even if there had been noise, she felt too far gone – underwater almost – to be able to hear it. The bright reflection coming off the ice and snow now was being taken over by creeping blackness that she wished would swallow her up and end it all; but it would not give her the satisfaction of an escape. It wanted her to suffer. She deserved to suffer. She closed her eyes, trying to turn her focus to the ringing in her ears, hoping it would drown out the hellish thoughts that tortured her, thoughts that she knew would be her constant companion for the rest of her life.

Somehow, the sound of metal scraping against metal, broke through the fog. A sound she recognized instantly.

_A sword._

Of course Hans would want her dead, she mused. He and Anna had claimed they'd found love at first sight. She denied their request to be married and then killed his true love. Not to mention the curse she'd brought upon Arendelle.

He was going to kill her.

She was too numb to move. And really, what was the point? Let him end this sorry excuse of a life, this waste of existence. Let him lower that blade and plunge it through her back. Let her blood spill and pool out here on the ice, taking this wretched power with it; draining it from its host where it could no longer pose a threat to anyone ever again. Elsa hoped Hans had good aim… hoped he would thrust it in just the right place for the sharpened tip to pierce straight through her heart and stop this pain once and for all. Or bring it down on her neck even. That would be best, she decided. There would be no coming back from that. It would be over. No more guilt. No more sadness... No more Elsa.

"No!" She heard Anna's voice cry loud and clear. Somehow, she felt… close by. Even in death, Anna still cared for her. But she wasn't going to change Elsa's mind; this had to happen. She knew it with more certainty than she'd ever known anything in her life. This, perhaps, the only decision she'd ever made that was truly right and just.

_It's okay, Anna. _Elsa projected to the sister that now only lived in her mind._ It's for the best. Soon… we'll be together again. We'll have forever, just you and me…We can finally build that snowman._

She waited for the end, but it hadn't come.

_…Any second now…._

She sat quietly a moment, curiosity piqued. Why? Why was she still here? Why hadn't he killed her?

Elsa felt something brush against the side of her ribcage. Not the blade of the sword she'd been expecting. That, she had just heard make contact with something else; but in her deteriorating mental state, she had no idea what that 'something else' could be. She turned ever so slightly, daring to get a better look at what had touched her. A hand. A frozen hand. A frozen hand attached to a frozen statue. A statue that looked just like…

"Anna!"

Before she could process exactly how or why this sculpture had materialized beside her, she was on her feet. "Oh," Elsa's hands flew to her mouth as she stared in shock, as her fuzzy mind tried desperately to absorb what was going on.

How could this be? What was happening? Hans said she was dead... Maybe he had simply misjudged her condition when he found her? Maybe she'd finally just lost consciousness like when she did when she was struck before; maybe it took longer to set in as an adult? Maybe Anna wasn't dead…

No. She clearly was gone, Elsa could see that with her own two eyes. But if not before… then how now… ? How had Anna gotten here? And just before the sword was about to come down upon her. Suddenly the answer hit her like a ton of bricks. _Hans! …The Sword! _ Her heart dropped into her stomach. Her perception that Anna had been close by was indeed correct, but she wasn't a mere fabrication of her sorrow, she was there with her all along – alive.

The position that Anna stood frozen, the voice Elsa heard cry out after Hans unsheathed his sword – it all made sense now, and the realization made her sick. Anna had selflessly thrown herself in front of the sword to protect her, if the ice hadn't taken her life, the blade surely would have. She sacrificed her own life to save Elsa's, twice in the same moment.

"Anna…" She shook her head in disbelief. "No…" _Why, Anna? Why did you do this for me? Don't you know how unworthy I am? _She hesitantly reached out to touch her face. Her cold, hard, eerily still, face_. How could I have done this to my own sister?_ After what Hans told her, she didn't doubt she'd struck Anna and the cold had killed her. But like this? Completely solid? Her warm, lively, body was nowhere to be found beneath the ice, wholly replaced and just… gone. She would have never believed her power could do this to a human being if she hadn't been looking at the evidence – the crystallized, unblinking eyes that would haunt her until the moment she drew her final breath. However far or near that may be.

If she had her way, it'd be the latter.

"No," she begged, wishing for all of this to be some sort of horrible nightmare that she'd wake up from any second. "Please no." But the coolness she felt against her fingertips as they caressed Anna's lifeless face told her that that would not be the case. This was real. There wasn't even a possibility for there to be any lingering trace of doubt now. _She's really gone. _Elsa sucked in rapid breaths as panic set it, tears slipped down her cheeks. "Anna," she choked through the sobs and threw her arms around her neck, collapsing against her frigid form, utterly distraught and inconsolable – at least she would have been had anyone attempted to comfort her.

As she wept over her loss, she wished her body would respond to the cold like anyone else's. That hypothermia would set in and she could die right here, right now, with Anna wrapped in her arms. They'd missed out on so much time with one another, she wished she could freeze too so that they could share this end together.

For the second time in minutes, Elsa wished for an end that did not come. Instead, the figure she clung to, chilled and unyielding, began to warm and give under her weight. She looked up, not entirely sure what she was seeing was real.

The ice… it was gone! _She's alive?! _

"Anna?" Elsa sprang to her feet, letting out a huge sigh of relief. The two young women embraced each other for the first time in – what felt like – forever. Both elated to have the other safe and in her arms.

"Oh, Elsa."

Elsa held Anna back by her shoulders so that she could get a good look at her. "…You sacrificed yourself for me?" She asked as she clasped hands with her sister's.

Anna stared back tenderly. "…I love you."

A little voice gasped. Both girls, still holding hands, turned towards where Olaf stood off to the side. "An act of true love will thaw a frozen heart."

"…Love, will thaw…" Elsa repeated, processing the little snowman's words. "Love… Of course." She released Anna's hands, smiling as she looked at her own in a mixture of understanding and reverence.

"Elsa?"

She threw her arms back at her sides. "Love!"

Anna gasped in wonder as the ice beneath them started dissolving into flakes of snow that floated up towards the sky. Elsa slowly raised her arms, drawing every speck of the magical winter to her and high above her head.

Winter was being lifted from the land and evidence of the return of summer could be seen all around. When the fjord thawed, a ship that they had been unknowingly standing over, bobbed up under their feet, giving them the luxury of solid ground and not having to swim back to shore.

Once every trace of anything cold had all been gathered into the giant sparkling snowflake that hovered above them, Elsa spread her arms and the formation dispersed, leaving a clear sky in its place.

The sisters' eyes met, as they shared the happiness of the moment. "I knew you could do it." Anna said, just a little smug, as she laid a gentle hand on Elsa's upper arm.

"Hands down, this is the best day of my life." Olaf said, quickly drooping into a melted heap on the deck. "And quite possibly the last."

"Oh, Olaf. Hang on, little guy." Elsa extended her arm towards him and with little twirl of her hand, the snowman was as good as new; fully frozen and now under the covering of a miniature cloud that sprinkled snow, just for him.

"My own personal flurry!" He exclaimed with a giggle. The girls exchanged warm smiles, both seeming to come to the same realization. Having Olaf back and knowing he wasn't going anywhere, was a happy reminder that what they'd lost in their childhood had now been restored. And it wasn't going anywhere either.

Over against the side of the ship, Hans – after having been knocked out by the power of the collision of his sword and the magical ice that had once been Anna – grunted as he tried to get to his feet.

Elsa watched the blonde-haired man (she really needed to learn his name) stalked towards the wolf-in-sheep's-clothing of a prince, only to be held back by Anna's dainty little arm.

"Uh. Uh. Uh." Anna held up her other hand to him. She's got this.

Head held high, she stepped towards Hans, who looked very shocked to see her standing there before him. "Anna?" He stood quickly, now just a short distance away from her. "But she froze your heart?"

"The only frozen heart around here is yours." Anna declared and turned away from him. Then, all at once, she swiveled back, grabbed his cape to pull him close, raised her fist and punched him square in the nose.

Hans went overboard with a very satisfying splash into the water below.

Elsa stared at Anna, totally amazed and especially proud of her little sister. Somehow she'd managed to grow up into a very capable young woman, one that Elsa was immensely looking forward to getting to know.

She held out her hands openly, inviting Anna in for a hug – something she never imagined she could ever do – which the girl didn't hesitate to accept. And contrary to what she'd always feared, Anna was just fine.

* * *

"Are you ready?!" Elsa asked excitedly as she looked around the courtyard at all the faces that smiled back to her. After what had transpired a few days ago, she never thought that they would willingly accept her as their queen. But here she was, powers and all, and they clapped and cheered for her.

She pulled up the hem of her dress, just enough to give a gentle stomp on the cobblestone. Immediately ice spread out from around her and swept across the ground until it covered the entire courtyard. Skates magically appeared on the bottoms of the people's shoes. It then climbed up the columns, surrounding the square in gorgeous tree-like décor. In the center of the rink, Elsa waved a respective arm to each of the fountains beside her, transforming their gentle flow into even larger delicate icy trees. And for the final touch, with her hands glowing with the sparkles of her magical snow, she brought them together and threw them into the air, sending up a glistening pillar that exploded high above their heads. The crowd "ooo'd" and "ahh'd" as they were showered with the soft, white, flurries.

The pure joy on the faces of the people of Arendelle, as they found pleasure and beauty in her magic, was infectious. Elsa was overcome with happiness; things were different now. She didn't have to hide anymore… she was free. Unlike in her lonely palace on the North Mountain, this time her freedom had not cost her companionship. She never had to be alone again.

Just then Anna came wobbling towards her. Elsa held out her arms as Anna grasped a hold of them.

"I like the open gates," she said as she tried to steady herself.

"We are never closing them again," Elsa reassured her. Then she added skates to Anna's boots, clearly amused with herself.

"Oh, Elsa, they're beautiful, but you know I don't ska—"

"Come on!" Elsa grabbed her wrists, pulling her along. "You can do it!"

The sisters spun and twirled out on the rink, Elsa led, while Anna – accompanied by a helpful little snowman – slipped and slid as she tried to get the hang of it. After thirteen years, they were finally able to pick up where they left off and it was better than either of them had ever imagined. There on the ice, they were as happy as could be, laughing and playing and safe in each other's arms.


End file.
